I don't know how to say or how I can explain it to anyone here.
I'm 23 years old boy and introvert. Every day I have fight (talking fight, not physically fight) with my mom and dad, they compare me with other people's who's are in my age or junior, even from my cousins too. I'm currently working in a Corp, but didn't got my 1.5 months salary, I'm freaked out of it, they making promises everyday that they will give my salary in few days but they not paying. I moved another state for better job and opportunity but I don't have graduation, for this I didn't got any good job, I even worked as a toilet cleaner, room cleaner. But I never told my mom and dad about it, i worked there for months and gathered some money for purchasing my desktop. I bought desktop but didn't had the money for internet connection, still gathering few money every day for it (Currently using phone's internet, limited).
That my current story and I'm facing lots of internal issues, I lost my interest, not getting motivation to do anything. Always getting suicidal thoughts. I even tried here to get a job in very small positions but still not get anything.
I always pretend in front of my mom that I don't care, I'm feeling less person, emotionless person but whenever she ask me to get something for her i always try to arrange, doesn't matter if I have money or not. But current situation is not helping me to do anything, neither I have enough money to invest in something. Recently bought an Android app source code with $30, but I'm not coder, i even don't know how to write it. I talked few devs to implement something (which is nothing for them) but they denied it, they need $$ for it. I promised that I will create "contribution" sector in my app for them, and it will help them to get few projects from my users if they wants to, but the devs aren't interested to doing this. I can understand this why they don't wants to, but I have no choice.
i appreciate all of yours help and ideas
I'm 23 years old boy and introvert. Every day I have fight (talking fight, not physically fight) with my mom and dad, they compare me with other people's who's are in my age or junior, even from my cousins too. I'm currently working in a Corp, but didn't got my 1.5 months salary, I'm freaked out of it, they making promises everyday that they will give my salary in few days but they not paying. I moved another state for better job and opportunity but I don't have graduation, for this I didn't got any good job, I even worked as a toilet cleaner, room cleaner. But I never told my mom and dad about it, i worked there for months and gathered some money for purchasing my desktop. I bought desktop but didn't had the money for internet connection, still gathering few money every day for it (Currently using phone's internet, limited).
That my current story and I'm facing lots of internal issues, I lost my interest, not getting motivation to do anything. Always getting suicidal thoughts. I even tried here to get a job in very small positions but still not get anything.
I always pretend in front of my mom that I don't care, I'm feeling less person, emotionless person but whenever she ask me to get something for her i always try to arrange, doesn't matter if I have money or not. But current situation is not helping me to do anything, neither I have enough money to invest in something. Recently bought an Android app source code with $30, but I'm not coder, i even don't know how to write it. I talked few devs to implement something (which is nothing for them) but they denied it, they need $$ for it. I promised that I will create "contribution" sector in my app for them, and it will help them to get few projects from my users if they wants to, but the devs aren't interested to doing this. I can understand this why they don't wants to, but I have no choice.
i appreciate all of yours help and ideas
